Funky Boy

The turkey is happening. Dinner in 15, and to everyone who pulls their ass out of their ego, happy thanksgiving. The rest of you who are sucking on your thumbs whining about how god hates you, you just don't get it. Damn good country here. Ain't no president going to ruin it. Ain't no woman going to ruin it. Ain't no crazy ass Muslims going to ruin. Nobody in China. If you are busy sucking on theirs, lemme tell you, this is a good country. If you ain't happy in the best country, the most free country in the world, you just gave up. The funky white boy says pull your ass out of your ego, grab a chair, hand me the potatoes, because it is a great day to eat, watch football, and thank the Indians Pilgrims for getting the job done right. When we were all immigrants, America accepted us. Damn straight. A bunch of Indians. We had one big feast. And that's what I'm doing tonight. Let's hear it for John Smith, the first immigrant. Let's hear for the guy...

I'm not a rich man, but this funky white boy has a job, friends and family. I see Central Park whenever I want. Food from every place in the world. Hot dogs from street vendors. All the beer I want. I live in a country where I can say what I want. I live free. Turkey this Thursday. Football. Saluting the troops, and America.

There aren't enough men on this planet. No balls. I think men have been emasculated by the women. The women took the men's balls and ground them up into powder. No, no. That's not right. The men snipped them off themselves. What? Right. Exactly what I said. I look at my buddies. Besides being wankers who want to hit the pub every night to look at girls they never ask out, I see them moaning about everything. Yeah, I harp on the whiners too much. I think these guys, who claim to be conservatives, are really yellow-bellied liberals. Little bitches. They love to bitch about life and politics, but go home and wank instead of taking action.

You know it if you know me. Just because I'm out for number one doesn't mean I want to waste time learning how much the people I didn't vote for is a creep. What good would that do me? Bunch of wankers doing that. Of course, the big news today is Sarah Palin's book. Want to buy it? Going Rogue: An American Life

John Wayne "America Why I Love Her"

Now the Duke was a real man.

I have been watching the news. One big pity party. You've got the Obama's going to ruin us thumb suckers. And you've got the Obama is my nanny crowd. They are sucking something else. Same people, different sides. Man up already. You going to let Obama tell you what to feel? If he upsets you and gtets you so pissed off you are angry, then you either got anger management issues or are too much of wuss to take care of your own life. Go ahead, bitch about Obama. It his fault you aren't happy. Boo hoo. What about you Obama bedwetters, those of you so in love with this man that he could tell you to drink Kool-Aid and you would. Right, Bush's fault. You lost your job because of him. You can't get another job because of him. So which side are you on? Oh wait, you have to choose sides, just like the playground. America is nothing but a bunch of whiners.

Quite yer yappin about I didn't tell you the Yankees won. You knew already. I told you last week.

Series standings: Philadelphia Phillies 2 - New York Yankees 3 Last game: Nov 2, Philadelphia Phillies 8 - New York Yankees 6 Next game: vs. Philadelphia Phillies, Nov 4 7:57pm ET You know what the Funky Boy is doing tomorrow. How many games until my boys take series? One.

Babe Ruth Lou Gehrig Joltin' Joe DiMaggio Derek Jeter Reggie Jackson Need I go on? New York Yankees!

My boys are in charge. Nov 1, New York Yankees 7 - Philadelphia Phillies 4 Next game: @ Philadelphia Phillies, Nov 2 7:57pm ET

Are ya talking and bitching, or are you doing anything about it? A guy at work craps on about how the other guys are lazy. It is true. Those guys are lazy. What does the guy do? Nothing. A buddy I see at the bar bitches on Obama. I get it. I agree. What's he do about it? Nothing. What should they do? I can't tell them, but I'm not their mama. I work hard. I don't care what the others are doing. I don't like what Obama is doing. So I wrote him a a letter. Sent one to Hillary here too. No one needs a back seat driver. Take the wheel if you don't like the direction things are going. Your mama's tired of you sucking on her breast.

New York Yankees 8 - Philadelphia Phillies 5 Next game: @ Philadelphia Phillies, Nov 1 8:20pm ET http://www.yankees.com