Three Fat Guys and a Patriot
I started walking. Actually I started eating less food and was losing a little weight. No diets like only carbs. Hell no. I love carbs. I love protein too. Damn, give me a steak. This guy David Dane lost a helluvalotta weight by not doing any fancy bullshit diet so I thought I would try. It was no big deal. I just always left the meal a little hungry but not too much. I tried skipping meals and eating really tiny meals but I'm not a damn bird. I lost weight and still felt fat. Dane isn't really trying all that hard anymore and gained it all back because he still eats sugary shit. I don't. Once in awhile but I quit Coke and beer and shots. It looks like his brother is doing the same thing I am and lost almost 100 pounds. Hell yeah!
I don't write anything down. Dane is much more organized and disciplined than I am. I start thinking, "Oh damn, I could eat another one." Then I don't eat it. I eat a full meal and nothing more. No desserts. Desserts is for pussies who want to pretend they are losing weight. I am not pretend, you assholes. Yes, I have dessert sometimes but only if I am eating someplace with good dessert. Every couple months I have dessert.
Dane's ex-friend Anthony Trendl talked me into walking so I did. At first, it was like I was wasting my time but he kept telling me I was getting in shape to get into shape. He said I would see any real difference until I was walking faster and longer but that I needed to walk slow and short distances to be able to do the longer walks. He said since I did not walk much before I needed to increase slowly.
I walked only a block at first and then after a few months I was walking for an hour. I don't look like those fruitcakes who race walk or the hotties trying to show off their asses when they walk. Hell no. I bought good shoes though. That helped. I like seeing the hotties, don't get me wrong.
Anyway, I lost over 50 lbs and it stayed off. Eat less, eat less shit, and walk your ass off. That's the Funky Diet Plan. And don't bullshit yourself into thinking a cheeseburger is the same as the same amount of fruit.
I feel better. I am not tired and bitchy all the time. That could be because I don't work at all hours too. I had to buy new clothes. I am damn proud of myself.
One really fat guy lost 644 pounds. He made a bunch of dumb-ass decisions to get so fat, blaming some girl, but he is the one who ate his way to 980 pounds. He had a surgery to get him back to normal. Good for him.
Chris Christie was busted by some doctor who told him he could die in office. Christie told him he was full of shit because he never examined him. That is true but Christie is still a fatso. "I'm basically the healthiest fat guy you've ever seen in your life," Christie said.
I am in college now beginning my second semester. I think I will become a history teacher. Teachers make a helluva lot more money than I ever did in construction and they don't have to work as hard. Before all your teachers try to email me and tell me you work real hard, like hell you do. Half of you sit on your asses all day, and the rest of you stand. None of you except maybe a gym teacher or shop teacher ever does anything physical. You get paid way more than everyone else and get all kinds of vacation. You never get cussed out in some other language by a bastard who is a dumb-ass. You never work outside in 100 degree weather or when it is so cold your balls crack.
I really don't know what I'll do but I am living the American dream. I wanted to go to school so I did. I am in a state college, not Harvard. I working as a janitor. It isn't pretty. I wanted to better myself and quit bitching about how shitty my life was. It was shitty and I was tired of it.
That is not patriotic like on the Fourth of July. It is patriotic like this is why my family moved here.
What the hell are you doing? This post is finished. Go doing something else now.
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