Five Years Ago I Was a Fat Dumb Man



Hell, I don't know if it was five years ago.



When was it that I realize my ass was fat? Every fatty knows this. I wasn't always fat. I watched too much damn television and drank a hell of a lot of beer. I ate at shit restaurants.

I worked in construction doing any damn thing they asked. I had to get up early to get to the job. My tools would get stolen.

Anyway, I got my ass in shape by walking and not eating as much shit. It took me a few years to lose 50 pounds. I walk everywhere. No damn beer anymore. I quit all the bad shit like cigars and dessert.

I started school too. So I am graduating with a degree in high school education which is funny because I lived with just a high school diploma until now.

I thought I was going to be a teacher but I don't like kids like I thought. I went to a job fair and now I have interviews going at several companies. I will make more money than I ever made. It isn't that I will be rich but if you ever lived hand to mouth then you know what I mean. I might move.

Somebody out there is wondering if they are too old get their ass in shape or get their life together.

I am not perfect and I have other shit I need to deal with. Five years ago I was 54 having a pity party. I'm 59 and in five years everything turned around because I decided I didn't like my life. I am healthier and not making any damn excuses.

So are you an old dumb fat man? Move your ass.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If I Were King of the World

If I were king of the world, I wouldn't buy you roses. I'd buy you a beer. Then I'd make some changes. I'd turn off your radio. Or make it only music. And Yankees games. I hate getting into a taxi or bus having to listen to some rich guy's opinion. I read the paper. I don't need to hear how Obama is going to ruin the world. Right. He won't. I don't need to hear Bush ruined it either. Everybody I know who gets sucked into soap opera talk radio has a pissed on attitude. Happy people got better things to do. I'd force the USA to import European beer. What's with the crap we make? I want to buy American just like any red blooded American man, but Bud is scamming people into drinking piss water. Same thing with cars. The USA used make a decent vehicle. Now, Japan, a tiny little island is kicking our tushies. Dude! I'd make the Yankees automatic World Series entries. Face it, your team sucks. I'll let the rest of the American and Na...
Read more

People Cry About Themselves Too Much

There aren't enough men on this planet. No balls. I think men have been emasculated by the women. The women took the men's balls and ground them up into powder. No, no. That's not right. The men snipped them off themselves. What? Right. Exactly what I said. I look at my buddies. Besides being wankers who want to hit the pub every night to look at girls they never ask out, I see them moaning about everything. Yeah, I harp on the whiners too much. I think these guys, who claim to be conservatives, are really yellow-bellied liberals. Little bitches. They love to bitch about life and politics, but go home and wank instead of taking action.
Read more

Bah Humbug - Why People Who Believe in Jesus Aren't Worth a Pinch of Salt

I had one person respond here all in a pissy fit that I have no time for religion. Religion is fine. I don't care. It is part of America's freedom, and I'm the last guy to want to take that away from you. But let me tell you, I groan when I hear or read someone upset that I think holy rollers have it wrong. I'll lay it out for you. There are a few kinds of holy rollers. I'm not talking denominations and whatever. That's an entirely different something. I'm talking personality types. All but one do not have my respect. See the last category. Some cram what they believe down your throat. Every conversation has an agenda. Why don't you just join Amway? I'm not talking about the guy with the bullhorn the cops keep chasing out of Times Square. I'm talking about people I know. They don't want me to be their friend. They want me to be their little project. Get bent.   Some say they believe xyz and then live abc. Forget that noise. You don'...
Read more