Holy Shit I Iz Grajuated

You got it, you lazy asses. I put in the time and came out ejukated.

  • While you were bitching about the world, I got it done. 
  • You were pissing over who's the president and I was moving forward. 
  • You were wanking and I was graduating from the fine City University of New York. 

I have a degree in history. I am the first one in the Funky Family to get a damn degree. 

I was going to be a teacher. Hell, teaching I found is easy if you know your shit. I changed my mind when I went to a job fair and found out what corporate trainers make. They do OK but what made the difference was my background in construction. They like that I can figure things out and can talk with trade guys.

This one company loved that and hired me to train their sales and customer service people. I have to fly all over the place and do my thing. I explain how a screwdriver works. No shit. There are lots of screwdrivers so that's not as dumb ass as it sounds.

It turns out I can live wherever I damn please. All I need is a big airport. I still live in my little Brooklyn but am thinking about it. I'm trying hard not to go wild. I am living like my same poor sop while my riches pile up.

Besides, I don't know where to go.

I saved my ass off while in college (shit, I can't believe I'm saying it like it is over). I almost have enough for a down payment on a nice house and furniture that doesn't have mice.

It is an amazing deal. At least it is to me. You suburbans know all about this. I'm joining your club. I get a company car, insurance, vacation (three weeks, can you believe it?). They even pay for my food when I travel.

In six months, I will have a three bedroom house with a big yard. Why do I want a big house? I want people to stay over. I am thinking I can rent one room too to some sorry ass guy like me trying to move himself from a life that sucks to something better. I did it without help but it would have been a hell of lot easier if I had a hand. I wouldn't mind a roommate. I should find a guy going to school to be a chef who needs practice hahaha.

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