Funky Boy

I'm going to call the wankers out. Sanctimonious each of them. You called bullshit when somebody says they are praying for people killed in Texas. Instead, they post a list of schools attacked and thinks that makes a damn bit of difference. I don't know if prayers make a difference but the wankers who shit on them with lists of schools are wankers. They are sitting in a corner, pulling on their tool. Social media bullshit. Shit, if the people who are saying they are praying are actually praying (I think most are lying smug bastards), good on them. Does it make a difference? How the hell should I know but at least are doing something with two hands.  The copy paste crap - the wankers only need one hand for that. Meanwhile, what the hell? Who needs a Daniel Defense DDM4 Rifle to protect their house from thieves? Is that what farmers use to scare away wolves? A hell of lot of hypocrites, bullshit artists and gun salesmen are giving each other a tug this week.

As many of my two readers know, I live in Brooklyn. I'm not in New York right now. I'm in Denver, hundreds of miles from that wanker who shot up my neighbors. I travel for my job and this week I'm in Colorado.  By the time you read this anything I say is old news.  I arrived here Sunday night and am teaching Monday-Thursday. I'll be home Thursday night. I am safe.

I was reading about James Stachowiak on Facebook. I looked him up. A wanker. No, I didn't find any pictures of him with his hands down his pants. The more I read about him, the more I guessed he probably tried and didn't find anything to grab onto, but who knows? Is he a member of the Daily Stormtrooper, aka, "Storm the Pooper," the YMCA of the alt-right? I wouldn't be surprised. Anything he had, he broke off rubbing it against some inanimate object when he was 13. Tiny, delicate things are prone to break. He's one of those guys who thinks he's better than Jews. He's not. Are Jews better than him? As character goes, most of the time. His daddy it looks like was smart. Even joined MENSA . Junior must have felt inadequate, having a small brain as well as small other body parts. It is funny reading his dad's obit. He sounds like a decent man. Little Jimmy must be in snits knowing his dad worshiped the world's most famous Jew. Here is...

You got it, you lazy asses. I put in the time and came out ejukated. While you were bitching about the world, I got it done.  You were pissing over who's the president and I was moving forward.  You were wanking and I was graduating from the fine City University of New York.  I have a degree in history. I am the first one in the Funky Family to get a damn degree.  I was going to be a teacher. Hell, teaching I found is easy if you know your shit. I changed my mind when I went to a job fair and found out what corporate trainers make. They do OK but what made the difference was my background in construction. They like that I can figure things out and can talk with trade guys. This one company loved that and hired me to train their sales and customer service people. I have to fly all over the place and do my thing. I explain how a screwdriver works. No shit. There are lots of screwdrivers so that's not as dumb ass as it sounds. It turns out I can live where...

It sounds too good to be true. You know fatsos who do this. You want coffee but you are fat so you add sweetener. Are you still fat? I'm not a nutritionist. All I can tell you is what you already know. Most of you fatsos are fat because your diet is shit and you are a lazy bastard. Artificial Sweeteners Don't Help People Lose Weight, Review Finds That article is on NPR. Don't like NPR but are still fat? Shut up. Anything you'll say is bullshit. If you have a real issue that causes your weight problem, I don't mean you. I'm talking about the people out there who piss and moan about being fat who could do something. If you want to lose weight, get your ass out there. Walk. Stop with the snacks. I know people who can't give up snacks and are fat asses. They are wusses. I know one guy who lost as much as I did who can't give up snacks. That dumbass uses supplements. His ass is addicted to sweets. He gained every ounce back.

Hell, I don't know if it was five years ago. When was it that I realize my ass was fat? Every fatty knows this. I wasn't always fat. I watched too much damn television and drank a hell of a lot of beer. I ate at shit restaurants. I worked in construction doing any damn thing they asked. I had to get up early to get to the job. My tools would get stolen. Anyway, I got my ass in shape by walking and not eating as much shit. It took me a few years to lose 50 pounds. I walk everywhere. No damn beer anymore. I quit all the bad shit like cigars and dessert. I started school too. So I am graduating with a degree in high school education which is funny because I lived with just a high school diploma until now. I thought I was going to be a teacher but I don't like kids like I thought. I went to a job fair and now I have interviews going at several companies. I will make more money than I ever made. It isn't that I will be rich but if you ever lived hand to mo...

Mooning the Prophet I'm not French. Some French people piss me off. But I sure as hell won't kiss ISIS just because they murdered a lot of Frenchies. It is no secret that ISIS is masturbating in front of pictures of Mohammed. They have to because thy know they won't be fucking any virgins in the Promised Land.  I have some churchie friends. Half are nutjobs who hate Barack Obama and are paranoid freaks. You know what they won't do? Bomb a damn stadium. They have their crazies but not a whole group of them. Even the incestuous Westboro Bapatist Church, the damn fools they are, won't do it. They shout like the group of assholes they are but they won't kill anyone. I don't what France should do. They should gear up and beat the living shit out of the next bastard the who tries to do this bullshit. The damn atheists there have more trouble with religion than America has. My ass isn't in the picture. I'm too busy shitting on a Kora...