Funky Boy

You got it, you lazy asses. I put in the time and came out ejukated. While you were bitching about the world, I got it done.  You were pissing over who's the president and I was moving forward.  You were wanking and I was graduating from the fine City University of New York.  I have a degree in history. I am the first one in the Funky Family to get a damn degree.  I was going to be a teacher. Hell, teaching I found is easy if you know your shit. I changed my mind when I went to a job fair and found out what corporate trainers make. They do OK but what made the difference was my background in construction. They like that I can figure things out and can talk with trade guys. This one company loved that and hired me to train their sales and customer service people. I have to fly all over the place and do my thing. I explain how a screwdriver works. No shit. There are lots of screwdrivers so that's not as dumb ass as it sounds. It turns out I can live where...

It sounds too good to be true. You know fatsos who do this. You want coffee but you are fat so you add sweetener. Are you still fat? I'm not a nutritionist. All I can tell you is what you already know. Most of you fatsos are fat because your diet is shit and you are a lazy bastard. Artificial Sweeteners Don't Help People Lose Weight, Review Finds That article is on NPR. Don't like NPR but are still fat? Shut up. Anything you'll say is bullshit. If you have a real issue that causes your weight problem, I don't mean you. I'm talking about the people out there who piss and moan about being fat who could do something. If you want to lose weight, get your ass out there. Walk. Stop with the snacks. I know people who can't give up snacks and are fat asses. They are wusses. I know one guy who lost as much as I did who can't give up snacks. That dumbass uses supplements. His ass is addicted to sweets. He gained every ounce back.

Hell, I don't know if it was five years ago. When was it that I realize my ass was fat? Every fatty knows this. I wasn't always fat. I watched too much damn television and drank a hell of a lot of beer. I ate at shit restaurants. I worked in construction doing any damn thing they asked. I had to get up early to get to the job. My tools would get stolen. Anyway, I got my ass in shape by walking and not eating as much shit. It took me a few years to lose 50 pounds. I walk everywhere. No damn beer anymore. I quit all the bad shit like cigars and dessert. I started school too. So I am graduating with a degree in high school education which is funny because I lived with just a high school diploma until now. I thought I was going to be a teacher but I don't like kids like I thought. I went to a job fair and now I have interviews going at several companies. I will make more money than I ever made. It isn't that I will be rich but if you ever lived hand to mo...

Mooning the Prophet I'm not French. Some French people piss me off. But I sure as hell won't kiss ISIS just because they murdered a lot of Frenchies. It is no secret that ISIS is masturbating in front of pictures of Mohammed. They have to because thy know they won't be fucking any virgins in the Promised Land.  I have some churchie friends. Half are nutjobs who hate Barack Obama and are paranoid freaks. You know what they won't do? Bomb a damn stadium. They have their crazies but not a whole group of them. Even the incestuous Westboro Bapatist Church, the damn fools they are, won't do it. They shout like the group of assholes they are but they won't kill anyone. I don't what France should do. They should gear up and beat the living shit out of the next bastard the who tries to do this bullshit. The damn atheists there have more trouble with religion than America has. My ass isn't in the picture. I'm too busy shitting on a Kora...

I'm no theologian. Anybody who knows me anywhere knows I think a lot of church people are full of shit. OK. That's a little over the top because I know some churchies who seem like regular people. They seem like they do what they should be doing and don't pretend to be perfect. I respect those. Some talk to damn much about shit they hate so those people are full of crap. The other ones bitch about what other believe and they are full of shit too. Can't get a straight answer out of them. Facebook is full of this. Then there are the bastards who want me to read a book whenever I ask them a question. What hell am I, a librarian? The show-offs are out there, "Look at me, I'm a holy roller." These fools brag about any damn thing they do. Keep your joy in your pants, would you? None of these freaks are as bad the Scientologists, though. I know, I know, John Travolta and Tom Cruise are Scientologists. Who cares? They are rich and famous. Scientologists ...

Like hell am I hoping to see one of these insects crawling on my ass.  

Brooklyn Sunrise This morning I walked over six miles. I started at around 5:30 and saw the sunrise. I didn't take that picture but I see that lots of mornings. I came home had some coffee and toast even read the newspaper. I don't have class. I don't have to work. I don't feel like sleeping. I don't know what I'll do today. I will read a little bit. I'm not taking any classes this summer. I was going to but changed my mind.  I will catch up on Facebook even though I hardly do anything there. You can friend me if you want.  https://www.facebook.com/funkyin.brooklyn I am not used to days off. I am not used to a real jobs with benefits like days off.  My journey is not complicated to explain. A few years ago, I looked at my life and didn't like what I saw. I was working hard doing odd jobs in construction at all hours, whenever I got the call. I was overweight and tired all the time. I had no future because I never took any classe...